If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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