It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
