2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
