moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize