that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
