Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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