i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
no. you can't hotbox the world.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize