you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
