Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
