this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
