If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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