Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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