Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
