Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
