are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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