Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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