sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Alive.
So much puke
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
