Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
