Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
