I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
that may or may not have been my penis.
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