Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
