I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
