I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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