But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize