VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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