oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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