girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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