Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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