i permit you to call me
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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