batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
