I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
