I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
