I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
