There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
