these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
