Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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