That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
