Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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