You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
