He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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