Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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