The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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