Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
