I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
