I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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