I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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