Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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