The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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