i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
