redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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