I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
