We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I cockslap morals
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You're like the curious george of whores
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
