Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
