I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
