good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
