Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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