My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
