I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
