Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
