In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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