At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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