I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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