U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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