do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
