Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
