haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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