Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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