Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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